It began back on September 3rd, 2011 when I was still a very active university student working towards an English major. My academic career was getting to a point where I had to deliver speeches in front of my classes and make presentations. While for some people, this feat is laughable and is just something natural to come to terms with. I was honestly terrified by the idea of having to expose myself and my ideas vocally to so many people.
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How I wanted to look in front of my peers.
How I really felt.
For whatever reason or another the idea occurred to me to begin recording commentary for game play. I had seen some names like Uberhaxornova, Sp00nerism and others way before they became the comedic behemoths they are today. These guys were able to not only speak their minds but also entertain so many people without even batting an eye. I wanted to conquer this social anxiety and be able to express my ideas clearly.
My inspiration right here. Really.
I had no inclination of getting anywhere with this and I really had no general plan whatsoever. I used my default email alias and went ahead and created my channel. I had spoken to an excellent friend of mine, Brian, who is known as RedWantsCandy and he joined me in some of my very first videos. Now they're long gone from the archives of the internet but we played F.E.A.R. 3 and S.W.A.T. cooperatively.
The old lady asked for me to shoot her with a taser.
In time I gathered the confidence to begin recording on my own time without Brian there with me. It was honestly forced on me as he had become much busier than he was before. I was coming upon a break in my enrollment at university and so my free time was a little bit more as I only had a part time job at the time which paid for my needs. I began with Red Orchestra 2: Heroes of Stalingrad as I enjoyed the setting quite a bit which involved the Eastern front between Germany and Russia.
I was very mellow and calm initially when recording alone. Over time as I expanded my retinue of games to Mount and Blade, Medieval II: Total War and other games, I slowly began to gain confidence. This wasn't a noticeable change but one that gradually transformed me. Even until recently I wasn't aware of the extent until I listened to myself from 2011 in comparison to now. There's more energy and a natural level of pacing that I never possessed before hand. I was able to speak with more confidence in front of my peers in the university classroom and even approach my somewhat intimidating professor with more confidence.
This form of self therapy turned into a hobby, one that I became fiercely dedicated to. It was really riveting to see that people enjoyed my commentary, to read that my sometimes obnoxious mannerisms cheered them up. Sometimes I still struggle with it but thanks to my persistence to help myself and the fantastic people in my life, I've been able to really leap over a big hurdle in my life.
This form of self therapy turned into a hobby, one that I became fiercely dedicated to. It was really riveting to see that people enjoyed my commentary, to read that my sometimes obnoxious mannerisms cheered them up. Sometimes I still struggle with it but thanks to my persistence to help myself and the fantastic people in my life, I've been able to really leap over a big hurdle in my life.
Sometimes I felt like this after conquering my anxiety.
Surprisingly I began to gain a following and each milestone was hit over time. One hundred, five hundred, one thousand and many more subscribers. Even my views began to grow every week up until the point where I felt comfortable enough to make the next step of any fledgling commentator.
I knew nothing about this field still and had no one in these fields to answer my questions. So I went after what little I knew, this being Machinima. I sent in an application through the normal channels but I was never responded to. I went after TGN next, who did accept me and after many weeks of waiting I finally became a partner on May 1st, 2012. I stayed with them until July when I withdrew from their company and finally joined Machinima on August 1st of 2012. Since then, I've reached 23,000 subscribers and over ten million views. An experience like that is just humbling and I'm always thankful to everyone who takes the time out of their day to hear my commentary.
From that milestone I've been saving back up for my return to university where hopefully I'll finally finish my credentials and obtain that often sought degree. Until then, I'll continue entertaining my viewers and pursuing this passion. I'll use one of my favorite words here to express myself. Fie! Fie on the teachers who said you couldn't make anything of gaming.
